Domestication: Part Two

Remember my last 3-week break between semesters?  Remember how productive I was and all the things I accomplished?

Yup, this 3-week break has been NOTHING like that.

The semester ended, I decided to take a week from school before starting to study for my Praxis exam in three weeks (smart move?...probably not), I re-learned how to stay up until 4 a.m. and sleep in until noon, Christmas came and went, and now I'm semi-celebrating Kwanzaa.

Below you will find a small(ish) list of the things I had hoped to accomplish during the break.

1.  Babysit the niece.  (done)

2.  Craft each of my Christmas gifts to my family.  (half-done)
--> I used this idea for my brother's and sister-in-law's gift.  It was a hit!

3.  Read plenty of good books.  (not even close)

4.  Catch up on my LDS readings.  (done-ish)

5.  Attend the temple.  (soon to be done!)

--> Oquirrh Mountain temple in South Jordan, UT

6.  Bake something delicious.  (working on it)

7.  Work out, run, do me some yoga or pilates, etc.  (seems to have slipped my mind)

8.  Study for the Praxis.  (just started today...)

Looks like I've lost my domesticated ways.

Santa is My Best Friend

Santa came early this year.

He brought the most incredible gift I could have ever been given.

And thanks to Santa, my sister/best friend/other half, Chelsea, and I will be going to see Coldplay in Portland, Oregon on April 24, 2012. 

Can I get a "HUZZAH!"???

And luckily, the end of the world doesn't happen until after the concert. 
*Side-note: Santa is spelled with the same letters as Satan.  Morbid, right?

When All is Said and Done

It's the truth.
I'm one semester away from graduating with my Master's degree in Speech-Language Pathology.

I've taken my final final (pun half-intended).

The Praxis test and two internships are all that stand in my way.

As I look back on the past year and a half of my life, I can't help but be grateful.  Grateful for the challenges I encountered, the friendships I made, the love I earned but lost, the clients I (think I) helped, the tests and papers I spent hours preparing, the nights I didn't sleep, the tears I shed, the times I just smiled and laughed.

I wonder who and where I would be if my life didn't take this course.  I wonder if I'd be writing for The New York Times while living the single life in Manhattan.  I wonder if I'd be married to a wonderful man and starting a family.  I wonder if I'd be traveling the world until my money (and sense of adventure) ran out.  I wonder if more items on my "bucket list" would be crossed off.  I wonder if I'd even have some of the same items on that list at all.  I wonder if I would have experienced even half of the trials I've experienced.  I wonder if I would have grown in the gospel as much as I have.  I wonder if I'd be as pleased with who I've become.

No matter what could have and "should have" happened, I'm grateful for how my life has played out, curve balls and all.  I'm grateful to the Lord for shaping me into the person I am today.  And I know that if I continue to seek to know His will for me, I will continue to be blessed and guided. 

Pitch me the next curve ball!

Keep Your Pants On

Background of title: I'm currently on the second disc of season 2 of Gilmore Girls.  Luke just yelled that lovely catch-phrase (okay, so it's not exactly a catch-phrase but close enough) across his diner at Lorelai. 

Ask me how much I love my life.

The answer is: "Too much to handle!"

Now it's time for my weekly list of complaints. 
-It's December, and it hasn't snowed in ages.
-One of my kiddos bombed a test today.  I still haven't learned to "leave my work at work".  That's gonna take a while.
-I'm loving wearing leggings (I realize that's not a complaint, get ready for it).  Go ahead, throw your immodesty arguments at me, I can take 'em.  If you think they're immodest, that's your opinion (that's the best complaint you're gonna get out of me regarding this issue).
-I'm sick of eating take-out and leftovers.  Wish I had time for real food!
-I need a job.  I have no money.  Literally, none.  Feel free to look at my bank account, there's nothing to steal.

Aaaaaaaaaand now it's time for my weekly list of awesomeness.
-It's December, and it hasn't snowed.  I love snow on the trees, grass, houses, even sidewalks, just not on the roads.
-I love my kiddo that bombed a test.  S/he's great.  I will miss him/her.
-I'm still drinking Diet Coke.  Yum.
-Only one more week of school.
-Two more tests.
-I made a real funny joke today.  About a man in my program not being able to read orange signs.  Y'all missed out.
-It's Friday night.  I took a four hour nap.  And I'm totally okay with that.
-I love showers.  Like, the showering kind.  Complete with hot water, shampoo, conditioner, loufas, and body wash.  Oh, and razors.  I opposite-of-love other kinds of showers.
-Skim milk is still my first choice of milk choices.  It just can't be beat.
-I'm down to wearing smaller sizes of pants and other clothing than I wore in high school.  Holla!
-I still wear my retainer to bed.  And I'm proud of it.

Okay, that's enough for this week.  Feel free to leave comments of your own complaints/awesomeness...I welcome them whole-heartedly!

Falling for Fall

That is probably the cheesiest blog title I've EVER written.  It's staying.

I have a test tomorrow, a big one, but I've already loaded my brain as much as it can handle for the time being...enter Blogger!

This just may be the most random post ever created.

I just read a blog post of a friend of a friend (thank heavens for public blogs!).  Geez, you'd think this girl's life had come to an end!  There is not one positive post that I was able to find...NOT ONE!!!  I understand that life isn't always full of fun and pleasantries, but seriously? This girl rambles on for ages saying "All I want is..." and proceeds to tell the entire world about her perfect man.  Then the goes on to say that she's sick of trying and caring...blah blah blah.  Um, you're 20 years old.  You have PLENTY of time!  She ends the post by saying she's packing her bags and moving to Michigan.  Yes, running away from your "problems" and frustrations is going to fix them.

[Cue sarcasm and eye roll.]

What I want to say to this girl is: "(Name), I understand how you feel.  I know that you just want to find someone who loves you as much as you love him.  I know it feels like you've been trying for ages and nothing is coming together how you planned.  I know that it hurts to see hopes and dreams go unrealized, to see people you love pass you by, to see good things you're striving for not come at all.  But have you taken a second and a step back to realize that maybe this was the plan all along?  Maybe not your plan, but Heavenly Father's?  Have you thought that maybe, just maybe, all of this could be a growing experience instead of a stunting one?"

Off my soapbox.

Now to the purpose of this post--I haven't written one single thing/posted one single picture since August documenting my adventures!  Geez, you'd think school had started or something (insert chuckle).

September 2011
*Jet-skiing with Wes

*Hiking Mt. Timpanogos with good friends

*Half marathon (Yes, there IS a post about this, but no pictures.)

*BYU football games

October 2011
*More BYU games

*Traveling to Florida (and Hogwarts!) during fall break to visit Cindy

And now it feels like winter.  Good grief, Mother Nature.

Intentions

"I may not have gone where I wanted to go..."

I have this really, really great client; he's in elementary school and loves to be silly.  The other day, we were describing objects to each other and he described a Furby (one of those nasty owl/cat looking things) as a "girl's toy".  He then asked if it was my daughter's toy.  I replied that it wasn't and that I didn't have any children.  He asked, "Why not?"  I responded that I wasn't married and that I didn't want to have children until I was married.  (Here's the best part!)  This wonderful client of mine then asked how old I was, and I told him I was 23.  He proceeded to slap his forehead with the palm of his hand and moan in exasperation.  I laughed and we continued on with the session.

To be honest, I never thought I would be 24, single, still in school, and living at home.  I thought I would at least have my own place by now and be working for a major newspaper writing the most-read column in the nation.  Oh how my life has not gone where I wanted it to go.

But if my life HAD gone where I wanted, I wouldn't be here.  I wouldn't be studying Speech-Language Pathology, I wouldn't have a job that I love, I wouldn't have traveled all over the world, I wouldn't have met hundreds of the amazing people I know and love, I wouldn't have grown as tremendously as I have by working at various LDS youth camps, I wouldn't have struggled and learned what I now know.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have come to realization that I am EXACTLY where I need to be.  It's not necessarily where I want to be, but I'm right where I'm needed.  And I'm 100% okay with that.  Do I still want to get married someday?  You bet.  Do I still want to have children and a family?  Definitely.  But those blessings aren't meant to be mine; not yet, anyway.

So for now, I will be happy with the things I do have.  I will serve to the best of my abilities in the capacities I'm placed.  I will work and strive for the things I want, but also understand that those things will come when I'm ready.

"...but I HAVE ended up where I NEEDED to be."

8 weeks

I can hardly contain myself!  The timing couldn't be more perfect.

Yes, I realize this sounds like an announcement of pregnancy on my behalf.

Ha ha, gotcha! 

There are only 8 weeks left of clinic this semester....8!!!  I can't believe how quickly the last year of my life has passed by.  I'm still in awe of all the things I've learned about treatment approaches, theories, medical and educational settings, different disorders, laws, devices, tests and procedures, etc in speech-language pathology.  Seriously, my brain in PACKED! 

And the best part of it all?  Being able to help others.  I know, from personal experience, how it feels to not be able to share your thoughts, feelings, or ideas.  I know how scary that can be.  So while one of my goals is to be able to help others communicate functionally, a bigger (and better) goal of mine is to help them gain the confidence to do so. 

Next January, I will start my two externships in the pubic schools; I'll finish them May 4th.  Then I'll walk in the graduation ceremonies, take the Praxis, and be on my way to a real job!  Bring it on!

Running Mantra

So...a few of you loyal, faithful, and dedicated readers have asked what's on my running playlist.

And I'm about to tell you.

I find that a variety of songs get me pumped, so there's not really a specific theme or genre I trend to.  Just enjoy this mess of songs that (somehow) keep me moving.

Love Me-Justin Bieber
My Life Would Suck Without You-Kelly Clarkson
Since U Been Gone-Kelly Clarkson
Stolkhom Syndrome-Blink 182*
How Long-Hinder
Born to Lead-Hoobastank
Jigga What/Faint-Jay Z and Linkin Park
Lights and Sounds-Yellowcard
Crying-Sugarcult*
You Make My Dreams-Hall and Oates*
Fix You-Coldplay
Pain-Jimmy Eat World*
The Edge of Glory-Lady Gaga*
Liar-Taking Back Sunday*
I Don't Wanna Dance-Hey Monday
You Are Loved-Josh Groban
See You Again-Miley Cyrus*
Elevation-U2
Stronger-Glee Cast*
Dirty Little Secret-The All-American Rejects
Face Down-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Born This Way-Glee Cast*
Hands Open-Snow Patrol*
Don't Trust Me-3OH!3*
Viva La Vida-Cold Play*
Low-Flo Rida
Come Out Swinging-The Offspring
Viva La Vida (Cover)-Weezer*
Show Me the Money-Petey Pablo
Space-Something Corporate
What the Hell-Avril Lavigne*
Single Ladies-Beyonce
Fergalicious-Fergie
Rope-Foo Fighters
Walk-Foo Fighters*
Iridescent-Linkin Park
These Days-Foo Fighters*
The Ballad of Mona Lisa-Panic! At The Disco
Stayin' Alive-Bee Gees*
I Gotta Feeling-Black Eyed Peas
Just Dance-Lady Gaga
Animal-Neon Trees

*These are my faves.  The beat, tempo, and general awesomeness are just right for long runs.  Enjoy!

Halfsies

Just in case you haven't heard...


I RAN A HALF-MARATHON!

And that's the gospel truth.

I set a personal goal around May(ish) to run a half-marathon.  Chelsea and I signed up for the Mt. Timpanogos half-marathon on July 30th, but due to circumstances out of my control (refer to "Infectious Summer" post for further details), I changed my registration to the Mt. Nebo half-marathon on September 10th.  (And for those of you wondering, Chelsea did, in fact, run the Mt. Timp half-marathon on July 30th...in less than 2 hours!)  Shortly after the Mt. Timp race, I convinced Chelsea to run (yet another) race with me, aka Mt. Nebo.

We started training, although I'm not sure if you could call what I did "training".  Chelsea found this great nine-week schedule online, but due to my crazy-insane school schedule, it needed adjusting.  I didn't follow the adjusted schedule either.  My "training" consisted of running 3 or 4 miles here and there, usually walking more than running.

During the course of my "training", I decided I should get some running shoes of my own since I had just been running in Chelsea's old shoes...that were 1.5 sizes too big.  I convinced my mom to buy the new shoes for me, seeing as I have no income at this point in my life.  She made this deal with me: If I ran the race, she would buy the shoes.  If I didn't run the race, I would have to pay her back.

Ouch.

Despite my lack of training, as well as a lack of truly broken-in shoes, I woke up the morning of September 10th at 5:15 a.m. and headed down to Payson for the race.  I was terrified; so terrified, in fact, I forgot to eat or drink anything before the race.  Not smart.

The horn blew to signal the beginning of the race, and we were off.  Then my iPod fell out of my not-so-secure pocket.  Oops.  I fought my way through the crowd to retrieve it, hoping that it still worked.  To my delight, it did!  (Tender mercies!)  I switched on my "Running Mantra" playlist and started down the mountain with Chelsea.  We ran together the first three miles, then I sent her on her way to school those kids and old folk ahead of us.

I kept running, and running, and running.  For ten miles!  How I pulled that off, I'm still not sure, but I attribute it to the fact that it was downhill the first ten miles (it was easier to run than walk down the path).  As I hit the 10-mile marker, the course flattened out.  Crap.  I hate running on flat surfaces...I don't get anywhere!  Walking seemed like a great idea at this point, so I slowed down to a speed-walking pace.

Just after the 12-mile marker...Chelsea reappeared!  Hallelujah!  She brought along a banana and water, which I drank all of.  She gave me the motivation necessary to finish the race strong; it was a miracle!  As I crossed the finish line at 2:33:30, I collapsed on the grass.  I realized how much my knees hurt, my back hurt, my feet hurt.  And yes, my brand-new shoes had been spoiled by a large amount of blood from my feet.  At least I looked legit!

Three days later, I still can't walk, sit, stand, eat, or sleep without hurting.  But let me tell you, the pain is definitely worth the feeling of accomplishment!  I still can't believe I finished that strong!

Next half-marathon, here I come!

In Remembrance

Disclaimer:  I know everyone is posting about the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.  Please give me the courtesy of doing the same.

As I waited for the yellow school bus to pick me up for one of my first days in 8th grade, my neighbor shared with me the news of one of the World Trade Center towers being hit by a plane.  We both wrote it off as an accident, "no big deal", and we boarded the bus.

By the time first period started the morning of September 11, 2001, all of the students sat in awe at the havoc taking place on the television screens.  Before us we saw smoke billowing out of the two towers and Pentagon, as well as a field in Pennsylvania.  We saw replay after replay of the two planes dive-bombing into the towers, and later we watched as terrified citizens jumped from the upper stories.  Eventually, the first tower came crashing down, creating an avalanche of dust and debris.  The second tower soon followed suit, creating the same chaos as the first.

At lunch that afternoon, the sky was emptied of airplanes.  It was clear, quiet, and beautiful.

I remember the fear and uncertainty I felt that day.  I still feel it, too.  I remember thinking "What's going on?"  "Who are these people?"  "Why do they want to hurt and kill innocent people?"  I still ask those same questions today. I remember the tears streaming down my face for many, many reasons. 

But I also remember the unity as well as the outpouring of love and service due to those horrific attacks.  I remember being in awe of the men and women who risked their lives to save others, many losing their own.  I learned of true faith and selflessness.  I remember being grateful that my father was not working in New York that week, being grateful that I had not personally been affected by the attacks.  I remember laying in bed that night listening to Enrique Iglesias' "Hero" with clips of the attacks embedded into the music.

 My life was changed.  Not in a way I would have liked or planned, but in a way that I needed.  And for this, I am grateful.

Domestication

The three-week school hiatus is coming to an end!  Hooray!  Double woot!

I would like to call these past few days "Days of Domestication".  I am becoming a true woman (according to culture and society)!  List of feminine accomplishments to follow.

1.  I finished my dress!

Okay, so all I did was sew on the buttons, but this dress was a steal!  Thanks to my sister-in-law, Hollie, who picked this Shabby Apple dress up for a mere $5 (size Small, might I add), all that was needed was buttons and someone willing to do the handywork.  Enter me.  I picked 1" navy buttons to keep it simple and allow for a variety of accessories to be used.  Below would be a picture of the dress from Shabby Apple, complete with buttons, but they no longer make the dress.

Now if I could get my sewing machine serviced, I could really start sewing.

2.  I made pretzel bites!

No pictures were taken, which is sad, but the process is quite complicated!  Total time from start to finish was
approximately 2.5 hours.

Yes, I have that much free time on my hands.

3.  I made chocolate souffle!

Okay, so I've only made the batter, but it needs to refrigerate overnight so tomorrow my divine chocolate souffles will be complete.  And eaten.  Yum.  Pictures below.

Yup, I already had a bite before I captured it.  May I say 'delish'?


4.  I watched my niece, Cadence!

Yes, I do this all the time.  And I usually take pictures, but I didn't today.  She's adorable.  Life is good when she's around.  Enjoy the picture, courtesy of Hollie's fb page.

5.  I read three books this week!

And yes, it's only Wednesday.  They were short, simple, and sweet.  I had to have time to sew, bake, cook, and babysit!

I feel very, very accomplished.

Avoidance Techniques

As is typical with most children, my awesome-little-kidlet-clients are Masters of Avoidance.  Kids think of the craziest ways to get out of doing something difficult, "not fun", boring, or challenging.

I have learned many techiques from them.

Things I Am Avoiding:
-Working on my resume
-Training for a half-marathon (which is in four weeks!!!)
-Finding a job
and...
-Showering

Things I Am NOT Avoiding:
-Caffeine-free Diet Coke
-Goldfish
-Harry Potter
-Cadence (the niece)
-Swimsuits

Summertime...the Livin's Easy

Having a three-week hiatus from school (and life in general, because school = life) sounds like a great idea right?  Totally, 100%, completely wrong!  I cannot remember a time that I have been more bored.  Here is a short (and very basic) list of what I have done in the past 7 days.

-Read the first three Harry Potter books
-Run nearly every day
-Seven Peaks
-Roooodeoooooooo!
-Attended the temple
-Helped my mom at Oakcrest
-Pinned for hours
-Organized my clinic supplies
-Emailed potential externship sites (eek!)
-Slept in until at least 9 a.m. nearly every day
-Thoroughly enjoyed Shark Week

Now, some of my loyal readers may be thinking "That sure seems like a lot of things to keep her busy!  What does she mean she's bored?!"

Clarification: my MIND is bored.  None of those activities (aside from attending the temple and emailing externships...and HP to an extent) really engage the mind.  I've been in graduate school for a year now (can you believe that?!), thus my mind is so very used to being engaged, busy, and constantly on the run.  I've found I have too much time to (over)think, (over)analyze, and (over)worry about the little, miniscule, inconsequential things that are happening in my life.

In order to combat the mind-wandering, worry-inducing boredom I seem to be plagued with, I've been studying the gospel much more than I was able to during the school year.  Talk about engaging the mind!  I've learned many things about true happiness, finding joy in the journey, new beginnings, life changes, and so many more (relevant and important) topics.  Perhaps I will dedicate a few posts to these newly-learned (or re-learned) ideas and principles in the future, but I do not feel that now is the proper time as these experiences have been very personal, and quite surprising as well.

Well, loyal (16) readers, here's to the lazy two weeks ahead.  Ideas of (free and/or cheap) activities are more than welcome, as are random texts or phone calls to just catch up.  Cheers!

Under Pressure

Yup, the stress of summer semester just hit.  Nine major assignments due in the next three weeks.  Count 'em....NINE. 

I no longer have the time to send myself flowers, nor do I have the money.  If any of you feel so inclined, they will be gladly and gratefully welcomed.

Lovin on Them Flowers

Next week, I'm sending myself flowers.  I've never received flowers (at least not from a boy...who isn't my dad).  I think it would be nice.  And I think I deserve it.

Why?

Not really sure why, but I'm needin some flowers in my life and  it's up to me to get them!

I like these.

Infectious Summer

The title of this post explains it all, but not in the way one might think.  You see, in the past week, I've 'contracted' two types of infections.  And yes, the explanations will be accompanied by pictures.

A week and a half ago, I was riding The Boy's motorcycle.  I've ridden his bike many a time; in fact, you could say I'm a professional passenger.  I've learned how to lean with the bike, how to put my leg down in case we start tipping, how to hold The Boy* just right, etc.  I've even learned to mount and dismount the bike effectively...or so I thought.  One night, I was getting on the bike, and my pant leg got caught on G-knows-what, so in my pathetic attempt to free my leg, the flesh of my leg made contact with the pipes of the bike.  The pipes can get up to 1200* F!  Needless to say, my leg was instantaneously cinged.

A beautiful blister formed.  The following day, I had a session with a young boy.  This boy is very active, so I was all over the place, taking no thought about my burn.  Halfway through the seession, I look down to see a very (grossly) large spot on my pant leg.  Yes, the blister had popped taking every bit of skin with it.

Over the course of the next few days, infection seemed to set in.  I'll let the pictures explain themselves.

Doesn't my leg look like a delicious piece of fried meat?  Yum.

This is the current state of the burn.  (Really, I took this picture solely for the purpose of uploading onto my blog.)  As you can see, the bandages and coverings has caused a rash to form around the burn.  So now, not only do I have a burn that constantly oozes, I also have a rash around the burn that constantly itches.  End of Infection Numero Uno.

Time for Infection Numero Dos.  This one isn't nearly as exciting, nor do I have any pictures.  Late last night, I looked in the mirror to take out my contacts for the night, and I noticed my left eye was rather red and goopy.  Pink eye, right?  I was hoping not, especially because I have three hours of clients on Fridays that I really did not want to cancel.  I decided to wait until morning before making a final judgment call.  I quickly fell asleep (I must have been exhausted!), and wake up before my alarm even goes off.  It's at this point in time I realize that I cannot open my left eye...it's been crusted shut.  Pink eye, right?  Definitely.  I now have an appointment to have it looked at and get whatever meds they'll give me so I can get back to my clients asap.

When I was talking to my mom about the pink eye (which, of course, she reacted very violently to), she told me the next thing to be infected was going to be my brain.  Pray that doesn't happen.

*No, The Boy and I are not back together.  We are friends.  :)

Leave It Alone

When I applied for the Speech-Pathology program at the University of Utah, I don't think I knew it required a full course load and an extra load of clients during the summer semester.  But I guess that wasn't enough to deter me from quitting half-way through (yay!) my program because here I sit, in classes and with clients, during the summer time.  From my seat in the classroom, I can see the blue sky, the trees swaying in the wind, and the rolling clouds (I swear I can see the heat too!).  At least I have a good seat.

It's been nearly two months since the inevitable happened, a weird two months.  The past week and a half has been absolutely incredible; my point of view seems to have made a complete 180* turn.  I am more completely optimistic in the future, completely more okay with "things" not happening how I planned, and I am much more faithful in the Lord, His plan, and His timing. 

This previous week in church I gave a talk on President Packer's most recent conference talk, "Guided by the Holy Spirit".  First, the title of the talk is very deceiving, yet fitting.  Second, President Packer relates a story about a young man who lost his wife a few days after giving birth to their first child due to mistakes the delivering doctor made.  The young husband and new father was very upset, very hurt, and very confused by  his trial.  Shortly after the wife's death, the stake president called this young man into his office and gave him counsel from the Lord; this counsel was to "leave it alone; nothing you do about it will bring her back."  While the young man was shocked and probably hurt, he determined he should be obedient and follow the counsel given him.  Later is his life, this man is quoted as saying, "I was an old man before I understood and could finally see...I finally understood!" 

I am so very grateful to the Lord for allowing us time to see and understand His purposes; I am so grateful to Him for allowing us to struggle, to struggle to find true happiness.  Without this (these) struggles, I do not think we could (or would) fully appreciate the blessings He bestows upon us afterwards.  With our struggles and trials come growth, growth and knowledge that cannot be found any other way.

Re-Commitment

The past month has been...interesting, to say the least.  The rollercoaster of life and its emotions has continued, which has made for an eventful ride.  All of these ups and down, loops and corkscrews have left me more confused than ever.  While I can say that the events and changes that started this rollercoaster happened for the best, that knowledge doesn't make it easy to deal with the aftermath or consequences of decisions I have made.

Today during Relief Society (to which I walked in very late), I had a sort of epiphany.  The teacher was talking about faith: faith in an outcome versus faith in Christ.  She focused on having the faith to change our will to align with the Lord's, to have the faith to follow His plan for us rather than ours.  She related various examples from her life that were surprisingly similar to trials I've been going through the past few months.  One of the things she highlighted really hit home: her desires were righteous and she felt she had done everything in her power to see her worthy will be done; however, the Lord had a different plan.  Only after realizing that while her plan was good,  the Lord's plan was better (no matter how temporarily painful the outcome of that plan was) could she truly see the purpose of His plan.

After my hour-long stint at church was over, I came home to catch up on some blog reading I had missed while on vacation in California.  A very good friend of mine, who I look up to and admire in the greatest of ways, wrote a post a few days about timing: our timing versus the Lord's timing.  She relayed this talk by Elder Oaks specifically on that topic.  One of my favorite lines reads "we cannot have true faith in the Lord without also having complete trust in the Lord’s will and in the Lord’s timing."  Not only do we need to have faith in the Lord's plan over ours, we also need to have faith in His timing--that every righteous blessing we desire will be ours when He sees fit.

What's the moral of the story?  Again, Elder Oaks states it perfectly: "Anchor your life to eternal principles, and act upon those principles whatever the circumstances and whatever the actions of others. Then you can await the Lord’s timing and be sure of the outcome in eternity...If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event—even every important event—and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things—even some very important things—do not happen at the time we had planned or hoped or prayed."

So here I am, to re-commit myself to doing the Lord's will and trusting in His plan and His timing.  How grateful I am to know that if I have the faith required to follow His plan, act on that faith, and remain worthy I will receive every blessing I desire...and deserve.

Ballet

For those of my 15 (yeah, fifteen!) readers that didn't know, I took ballet for years.  I mean, years.  I loved it.  And I miss it.

Well, the good news is, I found an incredible studio in downtown Salt Lake that offers classes for adults who have had classical ballet training but aren't professional dancers...Hello!  That's me to the T!  The classes are reasonably priced, open enrollment (pay-as-you-go), and scheduled around my classes and clients perfectly.  The typical tights and leotard aren't even required, only the ballet slippers are a must.

This is gonna be one great summer.

Lists

I like lists.  I make plenty of them.

To Do lists.  To Done lists.  To Buy lists.  To Return lists.  101 Things I Want To Do Before I Die (aka The Bucket) lists.  101 Things I Don't Want To Do Before I Die (aka The nonBucket) lists.  To Call lists.  To Text lists.  To Email lists.  To Read lists.  To Cook lists.  To Eat lists.  To See lists.

You get the idea.

Below is my list I'd like to call "To Look Forward to in California"
1.  Sun
2.  Beach
3.  Ocean
4.  Tanning
5.  Ridiculously great restaurants
6.  Disneyland
7.  Six Flags Magic Mountain style
8.  San Diego
9.  San Diego temple
10.  San Diego zoo
11.  Seeing a great friend who's serving a mission in San Diego
12.  Newport Beach
13.  Boutique shopping
14.  H&M
15.  The Price is Right
16.  Craig Ferguson
17.  Beach
18.  Sun
19.  Ocean
20.  Tanning
21.  Airplanes and airports
22.  Swimsuits 24/7
23.  Reading any book I want

Below is the list of "To NOT Look Forward to in California"

1.  Not seeing Kimber everyday

What are some things YOU're looking forward to this summer?

It All Comes to An End

It's over.  Done.  Finito.

"What?" you may ask...

My final paperwork for clients!

Okay, let's be realistic.  I will probably have revisions like crazy, which means the paperwork isn't totally complete and out of my hands, but every last bit of it is written.

Hallelujah!

I can hear the bells.

Babies

No, I'm not pregnant.

Yuck.

Ha ha just kidding.  About the yuck part, not the pregnant part.

I just had a thought about people who are preggers: I think some people have babies because they are bored.

I also have another thought: That is wrong.  You should want a baby!  Babies are a lot of work.  And if the baby is an "accident" (we're strictly talking for married couples on this one), love it and want it anyway!  If the baby is an "accident" in any other situation, an alternative plan for the child might be the best plan.

Baby thoughts are now completed.  I am nowhere near the "baby stage" in life.  Don't know where these thoughts came from.

One final PS: I admire all you mothers out there!  Keep up the good baby makin'/baby takin' care of work!

I will be grateful...

Friday!  Friday!  Gotta get down on Friday!**  I'm giving myself one big pat on the back; actually, a huge one.  If you're reading this post, you've made it to Friday too so pat away!

I am so grateful for making it through this week.  My personal, academic, and spiritual lives have been on one major rollercoaster the past few weeks.  A lot of changes have taken place, priorities rearranged, purposes redefined, and large leaps of faith...leapt.  These have all been good great things, but they have also been difficult.  Here are some things I've rediscovered these past two weeks that kept me going when the going got rough.

1.  Personal prayer.  This seems like a no-brainer, and it is.  How easily I forget the peace and comfort that comes from a personal prayer.

2.  Scripture study.  When I read of the trials others have endured or choices others have had to make, I realize my life isn't so bad.  Yes, my life isn't perfect and there are many things that could be "better", but I'd rather have my trials than someone else's.

3.  Faith.  We can do anything if we rely upon the Lord.  Philippians 4:13.

4.  Priesthood blessings.  Seriously, these are like mini-patriarchal blessings.  I am so grateful to have been raised in a home where priesthood blessings were readily available, thanks to a worthy father and brother who were in tune with the Spirit so they could provide me the messages of comfort and guidance whenever I needed. 

5.  Friends.  I've made some absolutely incredible friends this year and will always hold them dear.

So here's to making it through the rough patches of life and those who helped along the way!

**Yes, Friday is an awful song, but hey, how many of you can actually say you're a recording artist?**

Lip Whore

I follow a blog.  Okay, I follow lots of blogs, but I'm only talking about one in particular this time around.  I won't provide a direct link from the post (because that would be mean), but if you search through my "People I Don't Actually Know" list and find the particular blog I am talking about, please let me know so we can giggle together.

This blog's "purpose" is to give its readers, most likely single LDS women, an idea of what it's like to be a single LDS woman in a big city.  The writer talks about all the famous people she has met, past dating scandals, a previous marriage, performing on Broadway, what she ate for the day at the best cafe in town, what stores have the best deals, what shoes she's lusting after, etc.  Basically, it's a day-to-day journal full of details I really don't care about or need to know.  Usually, I find it intriguing, although I think the writer is a little ridiculous by exploiting all of her coworkers, friends, and family member's lives through telling every minute detail of every day (side note: the writer changes most names or uses nicknames). 

I've decided to read every single post on this blog from the very beginning.  During this perusal, I've finally noticed a trend.  The writer is a lip whore.  She has made out with every famous, semi-famous, or even furthest-thing-from-famous man she as met.  Ugh.  Seriously?  When did it become okay to make out with so many people (at least she's not doing anything...uh...more than that)?  When did it become okay to blog about it?

Seriously, woman, keep your "fun" to yourself.

Thought on Money

I don't have any.

Spring Break

*I love spring break.

*Why?

*Sleeping in.

*Eating junk food.

*Road tripping.

*Staying up late.

*Reading three books in one day.

*and...this...

*Yes, I kissed a dinosaur.  Talk about liking older men.

*On a less-serious note, enjoy the first clip of "The Dinosaur Witch Project", starring Brooke Tolman and myself.  (Ah, shove it.  The upload isn't working.)

The Twitch

I'm stressed.  It's no secret.  I'm sure I've complained to many of you, if not all of you, about my schedule, clients, classes, tests, projects, paperwork, lack of social life, lack of sleep, and abundance of stress and/or pressure I feel on a daily basis.  Usually the stress will manifest itself thru insomnia, lack of appetite, serious weight and/or hair loss, or even a "pimple breakout" all over my face.

This time, the stress has manifested itself in an eye twitch--an eye twitch that has lasted (sporadically) for five days.  I think a lack of good sleep, an irregularly large amount of worry over one test, and outrageous amounts of time spent looking at my laptop have combined to create this offense; no matter what has caused it, The Twitch is annoying (I mean, really, I'm trying to study here!).  Here are some other possible theories I have heard, thanks to my many friends in the program who know exactly what I'm going through.

1.  My facial nerve is being "squished."
2.  Parkinson's.
3.  Blepho-something or other.
4.  Depression.

None of these seem like particularly good ideas to me.  Let's just stick with a combination of fatigue and stress paired with staring at computer all day.

*This is NOT how I would react to an eye twitch.

Progress

One of my clients, "It" (to protect privacy, follow HIPAA laws, and ensure that I don't get booted from the program), is cute.  So cute.  It has a language delay as well as an articulation disorder, which means It cannot communicate at age-appropriate levels, in either speech or language.  But, like I said, It is so cute!  And It is so smart!

One of It's goals is to produce final consonants, meaning put sounds on the ends of words such as bat or cat.  It doesn't usually produce consonants in the middle or at the end of words...ever, which is the bulk of It's articulation disorder.

Well, today It said eight words with final consonants!  Ah!  It (really, it...not It) was so exciting!  Granted, it took multiple trials for each production, and the percentage of correct productions out of trials was very small, but still...IT SAID EIGHT WORDS WITH FINAL CONSONANTS!

That is all.  Just wanted to share.

ENTER TITLE HERE

yup, figured out how to title my posts.  all by myself.

that's all i wanted to say.

I have a confession.

My television has been on for 12 hours. Without being turned off.

I've been on my couch for the majority of that time. Working, of course, but sitting nonetheless.

What has grad school done to me?!

To All of the HUGE Mormon Blogger Mommies Out There That Have Suddenly Become the Next Big Thing:

Why are you posting on your blogs at 2 or 3 in the a.m.?! I know where you live (and no, I am not a stalker, your location is part of your profile), the time stamp is always for the time zone you're posting from. Don't you have children and/or newborns to take care of? Doesn't your husband wonder where you are when he wakes up and you're not in bed with him? Don't you need your sleep to make it through the next day taking care of said children, husbands, jobs, other family, and yourselves? I am confused.

Don't get me wrong, I love your blogs. They are uplifting and have plenty of good advice (and then some) for my future. I love reading about the things you are discovering with your children and/or husbands. The pictures are fun. The babies adorable. But why do you need to let the rest of the world know you're every move at 3 a.m.?!

Here's my advice to you: Get some sleep. You have a lot of other things on your plate.

Sincere Reader,
Katrina

Word the wise: Do NOT get sick the weekend before a major exam. Just don't.

Holy Ness. I still can't title my blog posts. Grrrr.

Today is officially 31 days since school started this semester and I'm still alive! This is BIG news. Let me give you a run down of what a typical day is like in the life of a University of Utah Masters of Speech-Language Pathology student.

6:00 a.m. Wake up (finish whatever I need to finish that day, get ready, blah blah blah)
7:30 a.m. Drive to class
9:00 a.m. Class
Noon Start doing something clinic-related (clients, planning, supervisory meetings, more planning)
5:00 p.m. Head home
6:00 p.m. Fall asleep (totally on accident of course)
6:30 p.m. Homework (planning clinic, doing paperwork for clinic--it is estimated that for every client there are about 52 forms, yes per client, readings, class projects, reviewing to administer standardized tests, reviewing for real class tests, planning more clinic)
Midnight Shower
*Eating and sleeping are last on the totem pole
**Order of events not typical to every day, but hours spent per event is representative

Welcome to my world. What is your typical day like?

Here are some things I would like to do in the next few weeks:

*Change my clothes. (Yup, haven't done that in over 24 hours)

*Actually finish a book I start. (I've started at least four books since Christmas)

*Go to a JAZZ game. (I miss my DWill)

*Clean my room. (I can't exactly see my floor)

*Go to a ZUMBA class! (Get my Latin flair on!)

*Re-color my hair. (Less blonde, more chunks)

*Read the newspaper. (Not on the internet)

*Go to the temple! (It's been MONTHS!)

*Clean out and wash Lucille. (It's been MONTHS too)

*Not die. (This seems pretty do-able)



What's next on your list?

To All of My (13) Dedicated Readers:

I'd like to refer to this semester in my program as "The Sifting Semester", "The Make It or Break It Semester", or "Darwinism Defined". Now, one of two things could happen because of the horrendous three (and a half) months I have ahead of me: severe pain or death. With the loads of new clientelle and the preschool mixed with one previous (and fiesty) client plus three classes full of exams and projects, I'm sure to break at some point.

What does this mean for, my (13) dedicated readers? First, please don't get angry. Second, I won't be writing nearly as much as I'd like. In May, during my 10-day break, I promise to update you on EVERYTHING that has happened, but until then...farewell. Good luck and love to you all.

No post titles for me. Still.

My birthday was a little bit fabulous. I had stayed over in Provo with Chelsea on Friday night, so she and my family (and the boy) surprised me for breakfast at Magleby's. It was delicious, the presents were great, and being with my family was fun.

Then, it was homework time. After driving around Provo/Orem for a bit and getting gas, I finally arrived home around 1:00. I immediately hit up transcribing and scoring a standardized test I had given to one of my clients on Friday. After I finished getting those results, I started transcribing my other client's session to look for articulation error patterns in her voice. An hour or so later, I decided it was time for a nap. A very long one.

I finally woke up and decided to get ready for my birthday date with the boy. We went to a delicious Japanese/Sushi bar in Sandy, made mini s'mores (thanks Elizabeth for that idea!), and watched Inception (he had never seen it!). It was very lowkey, very fun, and very perfect.

Turning 23 wasn't so bad. Although I am nowhere near where I thought I would be, I'm still happy and I'm getting there.

Today I am officially 23.

One of my life goals?

Accomplished.

Actually TWO life goals were accomplished today. But only one was accomplished on purpose.

Onto the next one...

If Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream, I can have a dream too, right?

I used to dream about having my own "How To" show on TV. It would cover topics from home renovation, personal style make-overs, properly washing pets and clothing, cooking, what to look for when buying cars, etc. Kind of like Martha Stewart or Oprah on steriods.

I also used to have a dream about being a world-traveler. My ultimate dream was to backpack for three months across Europe for my honeymoon with nothing but what I could fit into my backpack and no definite plans. I also wanted to move to the Middle East for a few years and hit up every continent on the planet; yes, even Antarctica.

I once had a dream of never getting married, never have a family, and always be a career woman in New York City. I was dead-set on becoming a world-renown journalist for The New York Times (I even had my picture taken in front of one of their buildings when I went to the city for my 16th birthday).

Then reality set in and I realized none of those dreams were for me. As cool as it would have been if I could have fulfilled just one of them, those dreams didn't mean anything. In fact, they were kind of selfish. Now I have a dream to help people, no matter who they are or what their stories are. I think that's why I chose to study speech-language pathology; not only do I have a very personal connection and respect for the field, but I can help people improve their quality of life which is very important to me. I can't think of a better way for me to fulfill my dream.

Despite my dreams (and realities) changing, I'm still very happy and very excited to see them fulfilled. What are some of your dreams?

Today, during my scripture study, I came across this:

"Yea, come unto Christ and be perfected in him, and deny yourself of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your heart, might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.
And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot."
(Moroni 10: 32-33)

I can't pick out one specific part that moved me, but I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of the Atonement. Without the Atonement, I would be a lost cause. I have made so many mistakes in my life, some on purpose and some not, but because of the Atonement I can be fully forgiven of all my wrongdoings. I know the Atonement is a process, and not a one-time process at that, but as it states in verse 23 of that same chapter "If ye have faith ye can do all things which are expedient unto [Christ]." If I have the faith in Christ to move forward with the process of the Atonement, no matter how difficult and daunting that process may be, I can be forgiven and found worthy to return to my Heavenly Father.

I am in amazement that someone, just one person, would be willing to lay down his life for all of mankind. By far, that is the most courageous act I can think of...and it was done by only one person! I am also in amazement at how much love just this one act demonstrates. I'd like to say that if I were asked to give my life for the entirety of man I would do so, but I don't know if I can honestly say that I would. But because just one person had that love for all of mankind, all of us have the opportunity to partake of the blessings found within.

I've never been one to make resolutions, especially those for New Years. Don't get me wrong, I try to constantly be aware of things I could change or improve, but I'm not one to use the excuse of a new year to take an inventory of my life and make those changes. But, it just so happens, that right now is one of those many moments throughout the year that I've realized I need to make some major adjustments. And when I say major, I mean MAJOR.

1. Scripture study. Sure, I do plenty of studying...plenty. But none of that this past semester has been scripture study. I've realized that I can get along just fine without it, but if I truly want to learn and to grow, both academically and spiritually, I need to be sure to fit in scripture study on a daily basis. I know this whole "daily basis" thing won't start right away, that I'm going to miss a few days here and there because, well, that's just what happens, but scripture study will definitely become much more frequent and important in my daily schedule. And to prove that point...here's a little break for that scripture study.









2. Personal prayer. Wow, am I bad at this one too. I've always been the type of person to pray for three reasons: when I really need something, when someone else really needs something, or when I realize I haven't prayed for a while. Prayer has never, ever been a habit of mine...and I'm nearly 23 years old! This has got to change! How bad does it make me feel when the boy doesn't text me for an hour? Awful. How must my Heavenly Father feel when I haven't talked to him for days? Doubly awful, I'm sure. How do I feel right now for realizing this? Awful, again. I've had some incredible experiences through prayer, I know the power and peace that comes from it, so why have I not made it a priority? I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know that starting this exact moment...prayer is going to happen. Again, this won't be a "daily basis" experience right from the get go, but it will be eventually. In fact, this will be a "multi-daily basis" eventually and I am so excited for that to happen.

3. Yoga. I know I talk about yoga a lot. So much, in fact, the boy got me a yoga mat for Christmas...a green one! But trust me, yoga does wonders for your body and your spirit. From here on out, I will also make more time for yoga. To be able to meditate for even just five minutes a day is so rejuvenating, and the stretches don't hurt either. If you don't believe me, try it for yourself. Heck, why not pray while meditating?

4. Service. I used to volunteer for everything I could get my hands on. Recently, that is not the case. I know I can't commit to so many hours per day, per week, or even per month, but anything I can do will help. I commit to look for opportunities to serve others, whether they be through large organizations or baking cookies for the widower next door, I know I can serve someone.

So, here's a quick re-cap of those things I need to change for those of you who got lost during the scripture study break.
1. Daily scripture study.
2. Multi-daily prayer.
3. Daily yoga, even if it's just five minutes of meditation.
4. Service--whenever, wherever, however.

What are your "resolutions"?

Back to life. Back to reality.

Pretty sure I've used that line before but it's so darn fitting.

Although I don't technically start school until next Monday (five more days of freedom!), the real work begins this week.

Why?

I need to get back on a sleep routine. I need to contact my clients (clients' parents in some cases) and confirm with them their clinic times for the semester (I hate talking on the phone with people I don't know well, and sometimes even those I do know well...thank you stutter). I need to clean up my room from the holiday festivities. I need to start looking for a place to live if things don't work how I want them to. I need to stop eating so much junk. I need to start making yoga part of my daily routine before school kicks into full gear. I need to buy my books.

There are so many things I need to do, but only a few things I want to do. What are they?

I want to sleep in until 11 every day. I want to go buy new black boots. I want to eat as much dark chocolate as possible. I want to try snowboarding again and not fail miserably (or hurt my tailbone). I want to do yoga 24/7 (or at least as much as I can after the sleeping in and eating is done for the day). I want to go somewhere I can get a tan (and not just go there...live there).

But most of all, I want to be happy. And I am.

So here's to you, 2011. Here's to hoping I can do everything I want and need. Treat me well.