If I had to pick one word, just one, to describe how I'm feeling right now, it would be this:
OVERWHELMED
I'm feeling like I hit the ground with both feet running, but then a hurdle came and I completely wiped out. I don't know how to jump over hurdles! Between endless trainings, faculty meetings, mentor meetings, and all other meetings that come to mind, I've barely had time to mentally or physically prepare for what's coming in six short days. That's all...SIX!
Wish me luck, pray for me, send positive and/or reinforcing vibes my way, whatever you can think of.
August 21, 2012
August 18, 2012
the real world: part two
First week at a real, adult, big-kid job. (I mean, I get benefits, a pension, some other sort of retirement plan, paid vacation, and real money. This is a real, adult, big-kid job.)
Monday: Go to a (paid) special-ed training at one of the junior highs in the district. Get a little overwhelmed, but not too much. Also find out that I can work an extra 3.5 days outside of contract and get paid!
Tuesday: Go to the elementary school I'm assigned to, meet and greet a few faculty members, get my keys and find my room (which is HUGE), look at files. However, I don't have access to the computer yet or any of the files online (which is where I need to look at some things for my kiddos that aren't under my case managing-ness). Go the high school I'm assigned to (yup, high school...where the kids are taller, wider, stronger, and cooler than I am), meet and greet a few faculty members, find my room, but do not find my files or anything of the sort that can give me info on my caseload there. Hm. Enter predicament.
Wednesday: Day 1 of (paid) new teacher orientation at the district. Most of it applies, but just not in the way it applies to general ed teachers, or even special ed teachers. Fun. Pick up some of my supplies for SLPing.
Thursday: Day 2 of (paid) new teacher orientation. Um...SLPs don't have to be there but they'll still pay me since no one knew I didn't need to be there. Okay... Pick up the rest of my supplies for SLPing and head out to the elementary school to set up. Set up. Set up. And set up some more. Look at my files more closely. Feeling much better about life at the elementary school. Now if only I could get access to my files at the high school.
Friday: Go back to the elementary school, set up some of my own personal things, get my files organized and ready to go, take note of key things I need to be able to plan. Eat a bagel. Head to the district offices for more (paid) training.
So concludes my first week of my real, adult, big-kid job. A little rough, but not too bad. I'm exhausted from working so consistently (because we all know I can't leave my work at work) and being trained on so many new things. I find that I never have time to eat (unless it's provided for me), so I've taken to drinking plenty of water and Diet Coke again. I also find that I don't have time to work out like I had hoped, so I've taken to not working out again (nevermind the half-marathon I have coming up in three weeks). I think I'm going to like this job. :)
Monday: Go to a (paid) special-ed training at one of the junior highs in the district. Get a little overwhelmed, but not too much. Also find out that I can work an extra 3.5 days outside of contract and get paid!
Tuesday: Go to the elementary school I'm assigned to, meet and greet a few faculty members, get my keys and find my room (which is HUGE), look at files. However, I don't have access to the computer yet or any of the files online (which is where I need to look at some things for my kiddos that aren't under my case managing-ness). Go the high school I'm assigned to (yup, high school...where the kids are taller, wider, stronger, and cooler than I am), meet and greet a few faculty members, find my room, but do not find my files or anything of the sort that can give me info on my caseload there. Hm. Enter predicament.
Wednesday: Day 1 of (paid) new teacher orientation at the district. Most of it applies, but just not in the way it applies to general ed teachers, or even special ed teachers. Fun. Pick up some of my supplies for SLPing.
Thursday: Day 2 of (paid) new teacher orientation. Um...SLPs don't have to be there but they'll still pay me since no one knew I didn't need to be there. Okay... Pick up the rest of my supplies for SLPing and head out to the elementary school to set up. Set up. Set up. And set up some more. Look at my files more closely. Feeling much better about life at the elementary school. Now if only I could get access to my files at the high school.
Friday: Go back to the elementary school, set up some of my own personal things, get my files organized and ready to go, take note of key things I need to be able to plan. Eat a bagel. Head to the district offices for more (paid) training.
So concludes my first week of my real, adult, big-kid job. A little rough, but not too bad. I'm exhausted from working so consistently (because we all know I can't leave my work at work) and being trained on so many new things. I find that I never have time to eat (unless it's provided for me), so I've taken to drinking plenty of water and Diet Coke again. I also find that I don't have time to work out like I had hoped, so I've taken to not working out again (nevermind the half-marathon I have coming up in three weeks). I think I'm going to like this job. :)
August 12, 2012
the real world
So...I did it! I completed my second summer at Oakcrest and my fifth summer at an LDS youth camp. Who would have ever thought I'd be able to say that?? I sure didn't.
To say just a few words, the summer was amazing. I met incredible women and young women, formed wonderful friendships, was able to get my spirituality back in order, and (as posted earlier) received some great revelation and insight concerning my personal life. The journey was long and at times difficult, some days I just wanted camp to be over and for me to be back home, but the rewards and blessings far outweigh the sacrifices I made.
As I was driving home Saturday morning, I realized how Oakcrest had become my "safe place"--the place I went to so I could escape from real life. It was so easy to feel at peace with and unafraid of life when I didn't have to deal with it. But that's what's so great (and scary) about mortal life: it's always changing. Sometimes life changes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Sometimes change can be the best thing to happen, sometimes it can be the most terrifying. Regardless, change always happens, change is the only constant variable.
So what's next? What awaits me in the real world? Tomorrow, two days after camp has ended, I start my full-time "big kid job" as an SLP in Granite School District. And to say the least, I am absolutely terrified. I also start studying for the GMAT so I can apply to the PMBA program at the University of Utah in Spring 2014. I'm hoping to find a great place and move out by the end of October. I'm also hoping to find a great Pomsky puppy and name him Hercules.
I go back and forth between absolute elation and absolute fear when I think about the immediate future. I know that so many good and wonderful things are coming my way, but I also know that some not-so-good-and-wonderful things are headed my way as well. However, it is my reaction to those not-so-good-and-wonderful things (and the good and wonderful things too) that determines the outcome. Pres. Uchtdorf said, "It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story is going to develop."
No matter what life brings, what curve balls I'm pitched, what rollercoaster I ride, I'm going to be okay. My life is in the Lord's hands. He's got my back, He always does.
To say just a few words, the summer was amazing. I met incredible women and young women, formed wonderful friendships, was able to get my spirituality back in order, and (as posted earlier) received some great revelation and insight concerning my personal life. The journey was long and at times difficult, some days I just wanted camp to be over and for me to be back home, but the rewards and blessings far outweigh the sacrifices I made.
As I was driving home Saturday morning, I realized how Oakcrest had become my "safe place"--the place I went to so I could escape from real life. It was so easy to feel at peace with and unafraid of life when I didn't have to deal with it. But that's what's so great (and scary) about mortal life: it's always changing. Sometimes life changes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Sometimes change can be the best thing to happen, sometimes it can be the most terrifying. Regardless, change always happens, change is the only constant variable.
So what's next? What awaits me in the real world? Tomorrow, two days after camp has ended, I start my full-time "big kid job" as an SLP in Granite School District. And to say the least, I am absolutely terrified. I also start studying for the GMAT so I can apply to the PMBA program at the University of Utah in Spring 2014. I'm hoping to find a great place and move out by the end of October. I'm also hoping to find a great Pomsky puppy and name him Hercules.
I go back and forth between absolute elation and absolute fear when I think about the immediate future. I know that so many good and wonderful things are coming my way, but I also know that some not-so-good-and-wonderful things are headed my way as well. However, it is my reaction to those not-so-good-and-wonderful things (and the good and wonderful things too) that determines the outcome. Pres. Uchtdorf said, "It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story is going to develop."
No matter what life brings, what curve balls I'm pitched, what rollercoaster I ride, I'm going to be okay. My life is in the Lord's hands. He's got my back, He always does.
August 4, 2012
the last month
Working at Oakcrest has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I have been blessed beyond belief with revelation regarding my personal life and the rollercoaster it has been. Time and time again I have received answers to questions (some I didn't even ask), comfort and feelings of peace, direction and guidance, spiritual promptings, and other things of the sort. I have re-learned many truths that I once knew and re-trained myself to make habits out of the small and simple things. Scripture study, personal prayer, fasting, and serving others are the four things that make me happiest and give me the most strength. It's crazy what happens when you put the Lord first.
This morning during my scripture study, I flipped open to D&C 58. (Yes, this is one of those "random flipping open of scriptures" stories.) Verses 2-6 were already circled and highlighted, so I figured I should read them. I have no idea what prompted me to mark these verses the first time around, but I am so grateful I was able to read them again and be reminded of the promises they contain.
"For verily I say unto you, blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death; and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven.
"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
"For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but nigh at hand.
"Remember this, which I tell you before, that you may lay it to heart, and receive that which is to follow.
"Behond, verily I say unto you, for this cause I have sent you-that you might be obedient, and that your hearts might be prepared to bear testimony of the things which are to come."
For the past month (especially), I have been trying so hard to do what the Lord has asked of me. It hasn't been easy and I could easily blame the Lord for the tribulation and sorrow I have been wading through, but I know that these trials are for my benefit and for my good. I know that if I remain faithful to the covenants I have made, the commands I have been given, and the truths that I know, I will be blessed. I don't know how things are going to play out, I don't know what the Lord has in store for my future, but I know it will be amazing. His plan always is.
This morning during my scripture study, I flipped open to D&C 58. (Yes, this is one of those "random flipping open of scriptures" stories.) Verses 2-6 were already circled and highlighted, so I figured I should read them. I have no idea what prompted me to mark these verses the first time around, but I am so grateful I was able to read them again and be reminded of the promises they contain.
"For verily I say unto you, blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death; and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven.
"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
"For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but nigh at hand.
"Remember this, which I tell you before, that you may lay it to heart, and receive that which is to follow.
"Behond, verily I say unto you, for this cause I have sent you-that you might be obedient, and that your hearts might be prepared to bear testimony of the things which are to come."
For the past month (especially), I have been trying so hard to do what the Lord has asked of me. It hasn't been easy and I could easily blame the Lord for the tribulation and sorrow I have been wading through, but I know that these trials are for my benefit and for my good. I know that if I remain faithful to the covenants I have made, the commands I have been given, and the truths that I know, I will be blessed. I don't know how things are going to play out, I don't know what the Lord has in store for my future, but I know it will be amazing. His plan always is.
July 28, 2012
in my closet
130+ shirts (in rainbow order)
29 skirts and/or dresses
27 pairs of jeans
unknown number of shoes
And I've been shopping since my last count.
Bragging? No. Just wondering why boys closets are so...empty.
29 skirts and/or dresses
27 pairs of jeans
unknown number of shoes
And I've been shopping since my last count.
Bragging? No. Just wondering why boys closets are so...empty.
May 25, 2012
animal crackers in my soup
Animal crackers are beyond delicious. I bought a bag yesterday.
Yup, you guessed it. It's gone.
Onto more "important" things.
In two short days, I will be headed to Oakcrest Girls' Camp. Again. Round Dos, I like to say. What a journey Round Dos has already been! Starting way back in November was the interview. After feeling I had bombed it (really bombed it), I was offered the position. Since then I have been to countless meetings, even more hours of interviews for potential staff, decision meetings, registration, and staff training meetings. What a whirlwind!
Throughout this journey, I have questioned my dedication to the job. Not because I don't want to be there, but because since getting the job, some really great things have been happening for me at home. Awesome externships for SLPness, temple endowment, a great boyfriend, my ideal job offer, trying to train for another half-marathon, the list goes on and on.
Yup, you guessed it again. I don't want to leave the boyfriend. (I'm such a wimp!)
When we (the directorship) started planning and working on Oakcrest for the 2012 season, I came across a quote from President Monson. It says, "The Lord expects our thinking. He expects our action. He expects our labors. He expects our testimonies. He expects our devotion." I also came across a scripture that I had found during one of my hardest weeks of EFY a few years earlier. It states, "And now, my beloved [daughter], notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God." (Moroni 9:6)
As I sit and wonder what the summer will bring, I can't help but think of those two charges from the Lord's chosen servants. The Lord not only wants my devotion and diligent labor, He expects it. And after everything He's done for me, especially over the last year, doesn't He deserve it??
So here I am, to publicly proclaim that my entire heart is going into His camp and serving His daughters. It's the least I could do. I know that it won't be easy, and some days I'll wish I had chosen otherwise. BUT, it will be beyond worth it.
Just try and stop me.
Yup, you guessed it. It's gone.
Onto more "important" things.
In two short days, I will be headed to Oakcrest Girls' Camp. Again. Round Dos, I like to say. What a journey Round Dos has already been! Starting way back in November was the interview. After feeling I had bombed it (really bombed it), I was offered the position. Since then I have been to countless meetings, even more hours of interviews for potential staff, decision meetings, registration, and staff training meetings. What a whirlwind!
Throughout this journey, I have questioned my dedication to the job. Not because I don't want to be there, but because since getting the job, some really great things have been happening for me at home. Awesome externships for SLPness, temple endowment, a great boyfriend, my ideal job offer, trying to train for another half-marathon, the list goes on and on.
Yup, you guessed it again. I don't want to leave the boyfriend. (I'm such a wimp!)
When we (the directorship) started planning and working on Oakcrest for the 2012 season, I came across a quote from President Monson. It says, "The Lord expects our thinking. He expects our action. He expects our labors. He expects our testimonies. He expects our devotion." I also came across a scripture that I had found during one of my hardest weeks of EFY a few years earlier. It states, "And now, my beloved [daughter], notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God." (Moroni 9:6)
As I sit and wonder what the summer will bring, I can't help but think of those two charges from the Lord's chosen servants. The Lord not only wants my devotion and diligent labor, He expects it. And after everything He's done for me, especially over the last year, doesn't He deserve it??
So here I am, to publicly proclaim that my entire heart is going into His camp and serving His daughters. It's the least I could do. I know that it won't be easy, and some days I'll wish I had chosen otherwise. BUT, it will be beyond worth it.
Just try and stop me.
April 27, 2012
Lucky. And blessed.
Lucky: adj.
1. having or marked by good luck.
2. favored.
Blessed: adj.
1. divinely or supremely favored; fortunate.
2. blissfully happy or contented.
Based on these definitions, I am delighted to say that I consider myself both more blessed than lucky...especially as of late.
Things have started falling into place quite nicely (by no fault of my own, might I add). I completed my coursework for my Masters degree. I've now completed two internships in the public schools. I've been hired as a full-time SLP for next year in a school district that I love. I graduate in SIX days. And I'm dating a wonderful man.
The Lord truly works in mysterious ways. He also truly blesses those who do their part. I believe that I have done my part the past two years to get where I am today...nearly graduated! Endless hours studying, creating group projects and presentations, prepping for clients at the clinic, writing reports, applying for internships, working two full-time internships simultaneously (for free), interviewing for future jobs, etc. What a rollercoaster it has been!
And the Lord has been there every crazy step of the way. He never left me alone.
After two failed tests in my graduate career, some moderately difficult clients and extremely difficult supervisors, handling two caseloads of 60-70 kids/piece, and figuring out my future plans as a Speech-Language Pathologist there is absolutely no doubt of the Savior's and the Lord's existence and love for me. I could not have made it with His love, guidance, and divine hand leading the way. I am eternally grateful for the knowledge and testimony I have that if we seek the Lord's constant companionship and guidance, "He will not lead us astray, but He will give us aid." (How Firm a Foundation-Hymn 85, Isaiah 41:10).
1. having or marked by good luck.
2. favored.
Blessed: adj.
1. divinely or supremely favored; fortunate.
2. blissfully happy or contented.
Based on these definitions, I am delighted to say that I consider myself both more blessed than lucky...especially as of late.
Things have started falling into place quite nicely (by no fault of my own, might I add). I completed my coursework for my Masters degree. I've now completed two internships in the public schools. I've been hired as a full-time SLP for next year in a school district that I love. I graduate in SIX days. And I'm dating a wonderful man.
The Lord truly works in mysterious ways. He also truly blesses those who do their part. I believe that I have done my part the past two years to get where I am today...nearly graduated! Endless hours studying, creating group projects and presentations, prepping for clients at the clinic, writing reports, applying for internships, working two full-time internships simultaneously (for free), interviewing for future jobs, etc. What a rollercoaster it has been!
And the Lord has been there every crazy step of the way. He never left me alone.
After two failed tests in my graduate career, some moderately difficult clients and extremely difficult supervisors, handling two caseloads of 60-70 kids/piece, and figuring out my future plans as a Speech-Language Pathologist there is absolutely no doubt of the Savior's and the Lord's existence and love for me. I could not have made it with His love, guidance, and divine hand leading the way. I am eternally grateful for the knowledge and testimony I have that if we seek the Lord's constant companionship and guidance, "He will not lead us astray, but He will give us aid." (How Firm a Foundation-Hymn 85, Isaiah 41:10).
Aaaaaaand to prove that point, enjoy this wonderful Mormon Message.
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