Graduate School

How did this happen?!

Oh yeah, I chose to do my undergrad in a field that requires a masters. Duh.

I'm never doing that again.

Last night, I made these.


Snickerdoodles.

A bit crunchy on the outside (darn it) but deliciously soft and snickerdoodle-y on the inside.

If you would like the recipe, I don't have it. Sorry.

I like to make goals. A lot of them.

Accomplishing them is a different story.

Here's my latest goal:
No caffeine. For a year.

This means no Diet Coke. For a year.

I have 362 days left. Wish me luck.

Oh hey, my name’s Kat. I’m a recently unemployed college graduate who lives at home with her parents. Oh, and I’m single.

Go figure.

I have absolutely no idea why I was dealt the cards I’m holding, but I’m beginning to understand how the game of Texas Hold ‘Em (aka Life) is played.

Or maybe it’s Black Jack.

Anyway, I like where I’m at. I don’t love it, but I like it. These aren’t the cards I had planned on getting, but I’m learning to use them to my advantage. I’ve learned how to make a mean poker face and not let the opposition know what my next move is going to be. I like the suspense and tension...I like the unknown.

Hurray for breaking the mold. Hurray for being scared out of my mind. Hurray for something new.

Hurray for life.

Books

I miss books. I miss reading them. I miss flipping the pages back and forth trying to figure out where I last stopped reading. I miss smelling them...haha just kidding, I can't smell. I miss reading the ending first so I know if I want to continue reading it. I miss reading old favorites over and over again. I miss riding the bus for an hour and a half to work every day so I could take the time to read. I miss having any time to read. I miss having the desire to read.

Missing books stops today.

A couple of weeks ago during my break from work, I had an extra half an hour before I had to head to a bridal shower (which, by the way, ended up being seriously awkward). I was already at Target, and since there was a Barnes and Noble in the same strip mall, I decided to wander on over and get a drink from Starbucks. While I didn't actually make it to Starbucks, I did make it to the fiction and literature section of the store where I re-discovered some of my favorite authors: Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Charles Dickens. I decided to venture out of the so-called classics written by these authors and pick up some new titles I hadn't previously heard of.

The Beautiful and Damned by Fitzgerald is a tale similar to that of The Great Gatsby, but with a twist. It parallels his own life when, after his success of This Side of Paradise, Fitzgerald squandered his ambition and talent. I am thrilled to be reading this book because I feel that so many young people squander their ambition and talent today; I feel that it will relate well to any time period, and that's what will make this book a great read.

Night and Day by Woolf contrasts the lives of two friends--one lives with her parents and is engaged to a "prig" while the other is an independent woman working for the womens' rights movement after attending college. I think it will be interesting to see how Woolf deals with the marriage v. independent woman debate from the early 1900s as she incorporates the nature of romance and love.

I didn't end up getting a Dickens, but that's next on my list. Stay tuned for a full update on both of these books as they will surely prove to be entertaining...and probably misunderstood greatly.

Sunbursts and Silly Wagons

List of items completed thus far in Summer 2010
1. Cruise to the Bahamas (I sure do miss that place)
2. Become unemployed
3. Begin working for mother, grandmother, and aunt (turns out nepotism isn't illegal if you're not offically hired)
4. Financial aid (I'm actually responsible to someone other than myself...or my parents)
5. Weeks 1-3 of EFY
6. Girls Camp! (much camping took place)
7. Registering for graduate classes at the U
8. Finding out Brooke's leaving me for four months (sad face)
9. Lagoon
10. Sleepovers in Provo
11. Friendship bracelets
12. Cooking
13. Dating (in the loosest of loose terms)

List of items yet to be completed for Summer 2010
1. Deep house cleaning
2. Decide whether or not to move without Brooke (I have two fantastic offers...but will they be worth it?)
3. Final week of EFY...ever!
4. Seven Peaks (yay two pieces!)
5. Learning to sew
6. Attend a U2 concert (Bono is officially an old man...throwing out his back during rehearsal?!)
7. Start grad school
8. Run some sort of race (yeah, still haven't gotten any closer to my half marathon)
9. Engagement

*Any advice on how to fit all of this into the three weeks I have left will be much appreciated*

Working with the youth has always been my thing. As soon as I was old enough to be "in charge" of them (meaning I was actually of a legal age AND older than those I would be working with), I dove right in to it. My first youthie job was working at Oakcrest Girls Camp. For those of you who knew me during this period of time, it was not the greatest. While I did learn so many things about myself, my testimony, and the Lord's love for me, the summer was rough. However, I made it through bigger and better. (And now payback's come around...my mom is on the womens' committee for Oakcrest and she is finally beginning to understand why that job was so tough n rough.)

The next summer I was determined to work with the youth again, but I was also determined not to work at Oakcrest. Next thought: EFY! And I've been doing EFY ever since. By the end of this summer, I will have done a total of 16 weeks of Especially for Youth (which also means I will have worked with approximately 480 youth--don't ask me any names, just because I love them doesn't mean I know who they are). Each week has been very different from the others, but because of that I have learned different things each week. This summer has proven to be no different.

Let's be honest--before I started working this summer, I was not thrilled to be doing EFY for the third summer in a row. They only allow you to work five years total, and I was more than halfway there! I had just made plenty of new friends in my singles ward, I was enjoying having little to no responsibility, and I loved to sleep. EFY (for those of you who don't know) tends to make your social life non-existant, is a HUGE responsibility (I mean, really--you're helping the youth find and/or strengthen a testimony and sometimes dealing with life's biggest, most controversial issues...scary!), and to say you don't get enough sleep is a ridiculous understatement. But nevertheless, EFY came and it was too late to drop my contracts...so I went begrudgingly.

Week 1:14-15 year olds, off the wall co-counselor, not-enough-shade company spot=the makings of a poopy week. Boy, was I wrong. While I typically prefer the older age group (for various reasons), this group of younger girls was incredible! Besides the fact they acted much more mature than some of my previous groups of older girls, they were really at EFY for the right reasons. Sure, meeting boys is fun, dancing is fun, eating is fun...but that's all it really is, fun. These girls (a few who will remain nameless in particular) came to really learn of the Spirit and strengthen or find a testimony...and they did. Never again will I question someone's motives for coming to EFY, never again will I label a person right off the bat, and never again will I prepare for and expect the worst.

Lesson learned: the importance of loving each of God's children, everyone has a story.

Week 2: 16-18 year olds, awesome co-counselors, shady company spot=the makings of a great week. Boy, was I wrong. The vast majority of my group was amazing, but there was one girl in particular who made this week a very trying week for me. Everything was drama...everything. At first I thought this girl's attitude was a very surface-level problem, that she didn't want to be at EFY so being sick was her excuse to not to anything. As I came to find out later in the week, she was having troubles at home, both personal and familial. While I still think she over-exaggerated her sickness, the root of the problem was much deeper than I anticipated. While I was able to talk her through it, much of what needed to happen and change needed to be done by her, and only her. As I told her this principle, the light bulb clicked--no one could make her happy but herself!

Lesson learned: patience.

Week 3: 16-18 year olds, doubly awesome co-counselors, not so-shady spot=the makings of a _____ week. Again, let's be honest, I didn't really have any feelings or expectations of this week, I was too exhausted, but even if I did have expectations, they would have been far surpassed. Let's just say this: I love these kids, best week so far. These youth taught me much more than I taught them. The bond between counselors and youthies was instant, which meant that the Spirit was able to touch them much sooner than normal, the group bonded much sooner than expected, and the climate of revelation was present from day 1. Each day with these kids was a joy, but it was also one step closer to something I was dreading--them leaving. I have never cried when my kids were saying their goodbyes, but this week I did. I have never loved an entire group of people so quickly or strongly. And if you think my love for them was amazing, think how much the Lord loves them. These kids will grow up to be a huge strength to the Church and the world, and I feel so blessed to have been with them for just one week.

Lesson learned: I know nothing.

I still have one more week of EFY this summer, and I'm dreading it. I do not want my EFY experience to end, but I know that someday it will have to. I'm so grateful for the lessons I learned every day from each of my groups. The youth of the Church are amazing. The future is in great hands.